We got an offer on the house on Thursday night after a second showing! I'm pretty excited about it. The house was only on the market for 18 days! That's pretty fabulous if you ask me! It does make it that much more real that this is all happening.
My emotions are all over the place and it's hard to keep it together from day to day. I've still got some packing to do. Right now of course I'm thinking there's not so much left but I'm betting it will take longer than I imagine.
My birthday was Saturday. It hit me that it was my last birthday in my house. Today was my last Mother's Day. So hard. Partially because Casey couldn't be here and partially because I realized that we won't see the opening of the city pool, we won't have Addison's birthday in the park again, we'll miss the 4th of July. I don't know if we'll attend Fall Fest... All the things I've loved about living here won't happen anymore. I've loved living in this house and this town. It's been awesome. Casey's childhood friends live here, his family lives here. Mine live so close to us here and we're moving away from all of it.
Of course some of the great things like family living so close, is also one of the not so great things! I'm hoping that the fantastic parts will stay fantastic and the challenges will be less challenging. I hope we can figure out the holiday situation. It's always been a huge stress and I can only imagine that it's not going to get any better living so far away!
Speaking of my birthday, I had decided to go shopping for some clothes. This turned out to be a less than best choice. Jeans shopping 7 weeks after Brynn was born was just too soon. My body just isn't all the way back to normal yet. I did score a dress for .97 from Old Navy, a skirt, 2 shirts and a cardigan. Then a swim suit that covers everything scary it can from Gap and another shirt. That should tide me over for a little while! I'll try the scary jeans shopping again later.
I did get a pretty awesome vacuum after reading a review from younghouselove. It was even on sale! I might be in love!
All in all it wasn't a bad weekend, challenging in some ways but pretty good. I'm feeling super emotional, lots of tears lately, and I'm sure it'll be that way for a little while even after we move but I know it'll get better!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
It keeps on getting closer!
Next time Casey has a four day, we move! I'm going between excited and scared still. My goal these next few days is just to get through every day without crying. Mostly because it's scary to leave everyone and everything I've known. But I know it's a good thing. Yesterday Addison told her aunt that "I'm going to live with Daddy again soon!" She was also trying to pack her barbies in empty boxes while we were packing. This morning when we were getting ready to go to Grandma's house and me to work, she asked Daddy if we were going to his house and the fire station. He told her no and she said, "Oh, you have to get dressed first?" He had to tell her no. She wasn't too excited about that but when he told her that we move the next time he comes home she was happy.
Addison was super cute today. She was talking about how she is a princess, Daddy is a king, Mommy is a queen and when asked, baby sister is a princess too. She laid down on the stairs at Mom and Dad's and said we needed to "true love" her. Someone has been watching a lot of princess movies!
We had someone look at the house yesterday. They liked it! Now we just wait and see if they can get financing and if they'll put an offer in. Of course I hope we get more showings and that someone will buy the house. It's nice to hear that someone really likes your house, enough for it to be their house. It's a little bit of validation that you've done something right!
I got my fabric for my chair today. It's pretty but the yellow I was expecting was more greenish yellow and bright! I still like it, it just took a little while to get used to the differences between what I was expecting and what happened.
Addison was super cute today. She was talking about how she is a princess, Daddy is a king, Mommy is a queen and when asked, baby sister is a princess too. She laid down on the stairs at Mom and Dad's and said we needed to "true love" her. Someone has been watching a lot of princess movies!
We had someone look at the house yesterday. They liked it! Now we just wait and see if they can get financing and if they'll put an offer in. Of course I hope we get more showings and that someone will buy the house. It's nice to hear that someone really likes your house, enough for it to be their house. It's a little bit of validation that you've done something right!
I got my fabric for my chair today. It's pretty but the yellow I was expecting was more greenish yellow and bright! I still like it, it just took a little while to get used to the differences between what I was expecting and what happened.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Birth plans don't always work out
Brynn is 6 weeks now and I'm still having a bit of a hard time reconciling what I wanted to happen compared to what did happen for her birth. I wanted a natural delivery. I wanted Casey to be there through labor and delivery. He did make it time for delivery and I am eternally grateful for that. It's a three and a half hour drive from Garden to the hospital I delivered at. He made it in 2 and a half. I'm so thankful that he didn't have an accident or see any cops on the way!
I made it to 9 cm (out of 10cm) before getting the epidural. At a 9 I was in transition. Everyone I've ever talked to or heard from says that this is the point where you think you can't do it anymore. It's the most painful and the hardest part. And it's almost the end. It really was pretty bearable. But I was hurting and afraid that it would go too fast and Casey wouldn't have time to make it. I was also afraid that if he didn't make it, that I couldn't do it on my own.I figured the epidural would slow things down just enough for him to make it. He walked through the door and after my mom snapped a few pictures, my OB said "lets get this baby out". Obviously Casey barely made it.
I'm glad that Brynn is healthy. She scored a 9/9 on her apgar, even though her heart rate had been decelerating during pushing, I had to have an oxygen mask and she was vacuumed out. There was no bruising from the vacuum and thankfully I didn't have any damage from it either. She did have the cord around her neck too but it was loose.
But still. It's a little like grieving over the loss of experience. It took a few weeks even for me to really feel like I'd had her. Labor was so quick, 6 hours total and only about 2 in the hospital, and not being able to feel anything during the delivery made it hard for my mind to wrap itself around what happened.
I'm so thankful for my nurse. She was the one telling me what pushes were working. I don't know that I could have done it without her. I had no idea what I was doing. Dang it. I am however really happy that they didn't do that annoying counting this time. They let me push when I wanted and as long as I wanted to. So that was nice. I just wish I could have felt what I was doing though!
I did have a tear, it didn't need stitches though but since it was by the urethra it was a little painful for awhile. I think that's pretty good since she was facing my stomach instead of my back which is the "normal" way and she was vacuumed out. The pediatrician said that a baby delivered "sunny side up" as it's sometimes called, is like delivering a baby that's a full pound heavier. So, although she was 7lbs 12 ounces, it was like she was 8lbs 12 ounces.
I am happy I had the epidural for right after Brynn was born. The placenta came out in pieces so they decided to manually remove it. It was incredibly painful later for them to push on my stomach. It was much more painful than labor. I can only imagine how awful it would have been without the epidural.
I'm glad that I stayed at home, well at Target for part of it, until the contractions were about every 3 minuets. I am proud of myself for making it to 9cm before I got the epidural. I'm happy that I felt in control throughout labor. That I didn't get anything that I didn't want, I didn't allow anything I didn't want to happen. I didn't get my water broken until delivery and it was necessary, I didn't get the pitocin until after delivery, (it helps the uterus contract, it's a good thing after labor) I didn't get the epidural without a lot of thought on my part. It wasn't a completely irrational pain filled choice. It was primarily a logical one but also with a little fear and a lack of believing in myself. I think that's maybe a little bit why I'm having a tough time. I decided to get it even though it was so close to almost done. Of course at the time that was hard to remember.
I just wish I had of made sure that my Mom would have known everything she needed to know to help me make it through the last little bit. I didn't even think about it. It didn't occur to me that Casey wouldn't make it and someone else would be filling the labor coach position. I know it was hard for her. She knew I wanted a natural delivery but since she'd had to have csections, she didn't have any personal experience to draw on. So she was unable to help as well as I know she would have liked. But she did the best she could, darn my lack of planning.
It might have been helpful for someone to say, I know you're worried Casey won't make it but he's close. He will make it. You can do this. You're at the end, this is the hardest part. But it's the best part too because it means the baby is really close to being born!
So next time, (if there is a next time. That will have to be decided at a much later date) I'll plan better. But the great thing is that Brynn's labor proved to me that I can do it. With Addison I had gotten the epidural at 5cm and labor with her was 15 hours. I got the epidural with her because after my water was broken contractions were much more painful quickly and the leaking feeling grossed me out. Afterwards I thought that I could have gone longer before the epidural and maybe gone without it. Now I know that I can do it. I'll just have to plan better. That is, IF we have another baby and I have no idea if that's something that's going to happen.
I made it to 9 cm (out of 10cm) before getting the epidural. At a 9 I was in transition. Everyone I've ever talked to or heard from says that this is the point where you think you can't do it anymore. It's the most painful and the hardest part. And it's almost the end. It really was pretty bearable. But I was hurting and afraid that it would go too fast and Casey wouldn't have time to make it. I was also afraid that if he didn't make it, that I couldn't do it on my own.I figured the epidural would slow things down just enough for him to make it. He walked through the door and after my mom snapped a few pictures, my OB said "lets get this baby out". Obviously Casey barely made it.
I'm glad that Brynn is healthy. She scored a 9/9 on her apgar, even though her heart rate had been decelerating during pushing, I had to have an oxygen mask and she was vacuumed out. There was no bruising from the vacuum and thankfully I didn't have any damage from it either. She did have the cord around her neck too but it was loose.
But still. It's a little like grieving over the loss of experience. It took a few weeks even for me to really feel like I'd had her. Labor was so quick, 6 hours total and only about 2 in the hospital, and not being able to feel anything during the delivery made it hard for my mind to wrap itself around what happened.
I'm so thankful for my nurse. She was the one telling me what pushes were working. I don't know that I could have done it without her. I had no idea what I was doing. Dang it. I am however really happy that they didn't do that annoying counting this time. They let me push when I wanted and as long as I wanted to. So that was nice. I just wish I could have felt what I was doing though!
I did have a tear, it didn't need stitches though but since it was by the urethra it was a little painful for awhile. I think that's pretty good since she was facing my stomach instead of my back which is the "normal" way and she was vacuumed out. The pediatrician said that a baby delivered "sunny side up" as it's sometimes called, is like delivering a baby that's a full pound heavier. So, although she was 7lbs 12 ounces, it was like she was 8lbs 12 ounces.
I am happy I had the epidural for right after Brynn was born. The placenta came out in pieces so they decided to manually remove it. It was incredibly painful later for them to push on my stomach. It was much more painful than labor. I can only imagine how awful it would have been without the epidural.
I'm glad that I stayed at home, well at Target for part of it, until the contractions were about every 3 minuets. I am proud of myself for making it to 9cm before I got the epidural. I'm happy that I felt in control throughout labor. That I didn't get anything that I didn't want, I didn't allow anything I didn't want to happen. I didn't get my water broken until delivery and it was necessary, I didn't get the pitocin until after delivery, (it helps the uterus contract, it's a good thing after labor) I didn't get the epidural without a lot of thought on my part. It wasn't a completely irrational pain filled choice. It was primarily a logical one but also with a little fear and a lack of believing in myself. I think that's maybe a little bit why I'm having a tough time. I decided to get it even though it was so close to almost done. Of course at the time that was hard to remember.
I just wish I had of made sure that my Mom would have known everything she needed to know to help me make it through the last little bit. I didn't even think about it. It didn't occur to me that Casey wouldn't make it and someone else would be filling the labor coach position. I know it was hard for her. She knew I wanted a natural delivery but since she'd had to have csections, she didn't have any personal experience to draw on. So she was unable to help as well as I know she would have liked. But she did the best she could, darn my lack of planning.
It might have been helpful for someone to say, I know you're worried Casey won't make it but he's close. He will make it. You can do this. You're at the end, this is the hardest part. But it's the best part too because it means the baby is really close to being born!
So next time, (if there is a next time. That will have to be decided at a much later date) I'll plan better. But the great thing is that Brynn's labor proved to me that I can do it. With Addison I had gotten the epidural at 5cm and labor with her was 15 hours. I got the epidural with her because after my water was broken contractions were much more painful quickly and the leaking feeling grossed me out. Afterwards I thought that I could have gone longer before the epidural and maybe gone without it. Now I know that I can do it. I'll just have to plan better. That is, IF we have another baby and I have no idea if that's something that's going to happen.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
There's only two weeks left before the move!
Please be warned. I think there is a good chance I'll be blogging like I think. Randomly!
I can't belive we move in two weeks! It's scary now that it's so close. I knew when Casey got the firefighter job in a city 3 hours away that we'd be moving. He's been there since December. I guess we could have moved sooner but I didn't want to leave my OB/GYN until after Brynn was born. She'll be 2 months by the time we move.
Our house has been on the market for a little over a week but we've only had one person look at it so far. Scary. There's still a lot of little things we need to fix but since the man is only home for a few days at a time and I'm busy with the girls and packing and keeping the house clean, they're not getting done too quickly! Thankfully I don't think any of it is a deal breaker but we'll see what happens. Cross those fingers!
I've also only got two weeks left of work! I can't say I'm super sad to leave although I will miss my coworkers. But I'm really excited (hopefully the excitement lasts!) about getting to stay at home with the girls. I have some ideas of things to do/learn while. I've got a office chair to cover, the girls' names in chipboard letters to finally finish, a birthday party to finish planning...that should take up a little time. I'm also hoping to build some furniture and learn how to cook more things. So I'm sure there'll be something to write about!
I can't belive we move in two weeks! It's scary now that it's so close. I knew when Casey got the firefighter job in a city 3 hours away that we'd be moving. He's been there since December. I guess we could have moved sooner but I didn't want to leave my OB/GYN until after Brynn was born. She'll be 2 months by the time we move.
Our house has been on the market for a little over a week but we've only had one person look at it so far. Scary. There's still a lot of little things we need to fix but since the man is only home for a few days at a time and I'm busy with the girls and packing and keeping the house clean, they're not getting done too quickly! Thankfully I don't think any of it is a deal breaker but we'll see what happens. Cross those fingers!
I've also only got two weeks left of work! I can't say I'm super sad to leave although I will miss my coworkers. But I'm really excited (hopefully the excitement lasts!) about getting to stay at home with the girls. I have some ideas of things to do/learn while. I've got a office chair to cover, the girls' names in chipboard letters to finally finish, a birthday party to finish planning...that should take up a little time. I'm also hoping to build some furniture and learn how to cook more things. So I'm sure there'll be something to write about!
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